In the old movies you knew us because we wore black cowboy hats and twirled our moustaches, usually before doing a dastardly deed or exclaiming "curses, foiled again!"

Over time our image diversified. Some displayed bald pates, were one-eyed, or possesed fashionably slanted eyebrows... always the outcast. Yet we have always proven to be social individuals at heart, rarely seen without a cherished hunchback, bug eyed mutant, or perhaps an angora cat. Those of the female persuasion dressed revealingly and had an inexplicable knack for bellydancing— the life of any party. Occasionally we would hiss and claw peoples faces, but this only added to our charm.

The modern villain, though usually an excellent dresser fond of muted colors and high collars, does not stand out from the crowd. He or she lives a calm and comfortable life. Our moonlit castles have cable television, milk delivery, and mosquito-proofed moats. Most of us are on the Internet, where we trade blueprints for weapons of mass destruction and troll soc.culture.christian.

Throughout the centuries, we have provided the polarity and friction essential for dramatic plot development... and raunchy sex fantasies. We are your mirror image, your shadow, your constant companion. We're not misunderstood. We really are bad. We're the Badguys.

And now we shall reveal to you our sinister plan... *chortle*